Social Anxiety

What is social anxiety?

Social anxiety refers to nervousness, fear and emotional discomfort about social situations. This is usually because of a fear about doing something embarrassing, or making a bad impression, or being judged critically by others.

Almost everyone has felt nervous speaking in front of a group or anxious when communicating with another person at some point or another. The difference between social anxiety and normal apprehension of social situations is that social anxiety involves an intense feeling of fear in social situations.

Thus, shyness and social anxiety can range in intensity from being fairly mild to completely incapacitating. In some cases, social anxiety may prevent someone from developing friendships, working, going to college or even standing in a public place.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can be effective treatments for social anxiety.

CBT aims to help to identify and modify negative thought patterns and beliefs that contribute to their social anxiety. The therapy also involves exposure exercises that gradually expose the person to social situations they fear, helping them to build confidence and overcome their anxiety.

EMDR, on the other hand, involves using bilateral stimulation such as eye movements, sounds or taps to help the person reprocess traumatic experiences or negative beliefs related to social situations. This can help to reduce the intensity of negative emotions associated with social anxiety.

I always begin with CBT and may move on to EMDR depending on a client’s individual needs and preference.

TESTIMONIALS

CBT and EMDR for Social Anxiety

I was a nervous person who would avoid social situations and new experiences due to uncontrollable worry and a fear of embarrassment. I wouldn’t do anything that I had not done a multitude of times already, even that was still a struggle at times. I hated anything that was a break from my normal routine. Truth be told I was reluctant at first to see Sarah. However, after lockdown it became apparent that I needed to sort myself out and seek help.

Working with Sarah I learnt various techniques to help me manage my nervousness and social anxiety. I liked the fact that the sessions were structured and there was a plan. When I started, I had a bit of doubt and wondered if anything could help me.

 I have come back today to see Sarah for a final time after a break. I no longer feel excessively nervous in social situations and new experiences. I feel like a new and improved person. I don’t think I would have done half the stuff I’ve done in the last few months If I had not done CBT and EMDR.

( Virtual sessions, male client aged 22, February 2023)

CBT for Social Anxiety and Self-esteem

Before I met Sarah I was struggling with a very stressful new job, also a move to another part of the country. I felt very upset, but Sarah was very easy to talk to and she helped me to understand I had symptoms of social anxiety, causing me to excessively worry about and avoid social situations.

We used a variety of techniques, including CBT, ACT and EMDR, to help me deal with my social anxiety.  Sarah also helped me to work on identifying and stepping back from my emotions, rather than getting too wound up in them. This, along with meditation and techniques like RAIN, gave me really useful tools to help me understand and live with my emotions rather than fighting against them.

I now feel like I have a much healthier relationship with my own thoughts and emotions, and am much more confident to face everyday troubles and to deal with stressful situations. I’m very grateful for Sarah’s help!

(Female, age 37)

CBT and EMDR for low self-esteem and social anxiety

I was feeling overwhelmed and had lost any ability to focus both professionally, and in my personal life. I was not thinking or behaving as I normally would and was catastrophising, with an inability to focus on anything. I had been experiencing some difficult life events and felt unable to cope, which triggered feelings of low self-esteem.  I had been signed off work. 

I had arranged to meet Sarah for a in person face to face session but to due COVID-19 social distancing we decided to have sessions via Zoom. I found it was still really engaging and supportive. 

It emerged through our sessions that I had social anxiety due to a past trauma in a difficult relationship, and that my social anxiety and low self-esteem were contributing to my overall sense of stress and being overwhelmed. 

Through sessions with Sarah involving both CBT and EMDR I have found that my social anxiety has gone, and my sense of self esteem and confidence has improved dramatically. I don’t just feel like I’m back to being myself again, I feel like I am an improved version of myself, equipped with a toolkit of creative resources I can use. Learning how to control the focus of my attention has been particularly impactful in my professional life.  Releasing the past trauma through EMDR has had a positive and life-changing impact on my self-esteem.

The person I was when I first spoke to Sarah is so different to the person I am now, and the journey has been an incredibly positive one. I now find myself excited for the future and embracing new challenges. 

(Virtual sessions, female aged 41, July 2020)

CBT for Social Anxiety

“Due to a long term illness I got stuck in a rut. I stopped seeing friends, going out and I withdrew. I had previously been a very active person. When I recovered from my illness, to my surprise I felt anxious about going out. I had never, ever had this before.  Basically my home became my safety net and unfortunately also a prison. Whenever I went out, I just wanted to go home. But being alone at home it felt worse and I got really down. 

Work provided me with 12 sessions of CBT with Sarah. I have really enjoyed the sessions with her.  Each week I have learnt something new. I have put all of this learning into practice. I have been able to challenge myself and successfully  go out socially again and meet new people. I have joined some groups which I am really enjoying. It is making my life better both socially and at work.  

If it wasn’t for the CBT techniques and Sarah encouraging me in the right way, I wouldn’t be having the fun I am having now. 100% thank you Sarah. I am grateful for everything. I feel I had a good connection with her and felt comfortable  from the get go. “

(Male aged 43, January 2020)

"When I started therapy I was lonely and depressed. I thought nobody wanted to spend time with me.  I gave myself an extremely hard time. I rejected myself before anybody else could do so and I avoided all social situations. I was convinced my work colleagues didn’t like me and I didn’t fit in. I closed in on myself and became isolated, which exacerbated how bad I was feeling. There were times when I wondered if there was any point in going on.

I have undertaken a course of CBT with Sarah, which has had a dramatic impact on my life.  I now socialise regularly and look forward to social events. I no longer dwell on thoughts such as I don’t fit in and I now enjoy interacting with others. I now participate in conversations rather than just being an observer. I look forward to the opportunity of meeting new people and joining groups. I have been able to accept my fears and I no longer give them the power to control me.  CBT and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) have allowed me to have a completely different perspective. I look forward to living the rest of my life by engaging fully in it and allowing people to now be part of my life."

Female aged 47

“I would recommend CBT for working on social anxiety.  I went into it with an open mind and feel I benefitted very much from that. When I started I felt really nervous in social situations and as a result of which I was conscious of my hands shaking.  I thought other people noticed my nervousness and judged me for it.  I had started to avoid social situations.  

At first I did not notice big changes from the therapy, but now, I feel like a different person. I am really pleased with CBT and just feel normal.”

Female age 43

“Doing CBT for social anxiety allowed and encouraged me to do a college course. I had been thinking about doing a course for years, but felt overwhelmed with fears of social judgement and of not fitting in.

CBT put these fears into perspective and put me in control of those fears.  This allowed me to participate in class and to rationalise certain situations, which would have really affected me in the past to the extent I would have left the course contributing to further issues.”

Female (aged 43)

“Doing CBT sessions I was able to overcome my shyness around meeting new people and going into unfamiliar social situations. Working with Sarah enabled me to identify exactly what was bothering me. I realised it was the fear of being judged and thinking people wouldn’t find me interesting enough.

Using the CBT techniques, I joined new social groups and learnt that in fact people like me. In the process I enjoyed myself. Indeed I am still enjoying myself.

I am so much more full of self-confidence I am moving to another country where I do not know anybody.”

Female (aged 38)

EMDR For Social Anxiety

“EMDR has helped me with my confidence to go out socially. I used to feel really nervous and anxious about going out socially e.g. going to restaurants, bars or anywhere new. I would highly recommend it.“

Male (aged 26)